Aim: How can we begin finalizing our college essays?

Do Now: 1. Take out your homework—the revision of the first draft for one of your college essays 2. Begin typing the draft (count as a grade).

Classwork_____________________________________________________________________
Directions: 1. By now you should be making the necessary last changes to your first essay and/or working on your second essay.

2. Rubric—Read the requirements for the rubric.

3. Classwork: A. If you need anymore feedback, come see me for an individual conference. B. Make sure that your essay meets the requirements stated in the rubric C. If you are finished with the first essay, make sure all paperwork is ready to be submitted: i. Final Draft typed ii. Draft(s) a. My written feedback b. Highlight about changes from partner c. Praise-Question-Polish handout completed iii. Brainstorming

D. Editing i. Revision—focuses on the content of the story ii. Editing—focuses on the mechanics, etc (spelling, grammar, organization, sentence length and structure, etc. iii. Advice when editing: a. Avoid the same sentence lengths b. Start sentences differently c. Use active voice instead of passive I. The subject does the action of the sentence. II. Ex: Active voice: “Steve loves Amy.” III. Ex: Passive voice: “Steve is loved by Amy.” d. Transition words:
Addition:
also, again, as well as, besides, coupled with, furthermore, in addition, likewise, moreover, similarly
When there is a trusting relationship coupled with positive reinforcement, the partners will be able to overcome difficult situations.
Consequence:
accordingly, as a result, consequently, for this reason, for this purpose, hence, otherwise, so then, subsequently, therefore, thus, thereupon, wherefore
Highway traffic came to a stop as a result of an accident that morning.
Contrast and Comparison: contrast, by the same token, conversely, instead, likewise, on one hand, on the other hand, on the contrary, rather, similarly, yet, but, however, still, nevertheless, in contrast
The children were very happy. On the other hand, and perhaps more importantly, their parents were very proactive in providing good care.
Direction:
here, there, over there, beyond, nearly, opposite, under, above, to the left, to the right, in the distance
She scanned the horizon for any sign though in the distance she could not see the surprise coming her way.
Diversion:
by the way, incidentally
He stumbled upon the nesting pair incidentally found only on this hill.
Emphasis
above all, chiefly, with attention to, especially, particularly, singularly
The Quakers gathered each month with attention to deciding the business of their Meeting.
Exception:
aside from, barring, beside, except, excepting, excluding, exclusive of, other than, outside of, save
Consensus was arrived at by all of the members exclusive of those who could not vote.
Exemplifying:
chiefly, especially, for instance, in particular, markedly, namely, particularly, including, specifically, such as
Some friends and I drove up the beautiful coast chiefly to avoid the heat