Angelica Henderson
Engl 110 online
Professor- J. Richrath
Paper 1- Writing to reflect
Audience- Students
June 8, 2013

What will be will be

“It was a regular morning as I was getting my children and I ready for our daily routine”, every morning was crazy and we were always running late. As I pulled up to school and almost sprinting to class my phone rings, I sighed and saw it is my mom and thought to myself, “mom I cannot do this right now” so I let it go to voicemail. As the morning went on, my mom called again and once again I let it go to voicemail. I wanted to call her back and listen to her voicemails but I was in class and having a very busy morning I thought to myself, on my first break I will call her back. As the morning turned into noon and noon turned into early evening, she called again. I looked at my phone and felt terrible because I had every intention to call back but I got caught up in my day. As I explain to her about my day and how sorry I was she stops me and says, “your dad is in the emergency room with a 104 temperature and not coherent at all”. I gasp and tell her” I am on my way”. I remember that drive like it was today, all the way there I yelled at myself for not picking up the phone and putting my priorities in front of family once again. When I arrived, I walked into his room and found my father, my best friend lying on a cooling pad shivering with a box fan blowing on him. I held my breath as I looked at him and began to feel like a child inside wanting my daddy back, looking at how fragile he looked when my whole life he had been my super hero and invincible in my eyes.
Hours passed and finally four hours later he was moved to a room, still not knowing what was wrong with him my mom told me to go home and she would stay with him. As much as I needed to go home I found myself scared to death to leave, I needed to get home, put my kids in bed and start on my homework for the evening, so I left. I did not sleep that night, I could not sleep I was terrified I was going to get a call that my father had passed. So, I worked ahead on my homework so I could be available to stay with him as much as possible. Growing up I was a daddy’s girl, we were like two peas in a pod, and he taught me everything I knew growing up. We always talked about boys and I will never forget how much he hugged me during my first heart break. He was at every sporting event in the stands always cheering and we spent many nights playing catch and talking about the Chicago Cubs games that day. He made sure he showed me the important things that every girl should know like changing a tire and how to check the oil in my car. He wanted his daughter to be independent and not have to count on a man. He was my rock, my go to person when I needed anything. As I got older we were still close but I seen changes in him as he started to age and then retirement came and he began to get unmotivated with many things. I felt he was becoming depressed because he had worked for so long that when he retired he did not know what to do with himself. I always worried about him, I would drive over to visit during the day when I could and my boys spent the night at least once a month but as I look back, it still was not enough. The days passed and he was not getting any better, it was Friday night Good Friday, my night to stay with dad. I loved when it was my turn to stay with him, I would sit and read or do my homework and sometimes I would turn the TV on something he would like in hope it would wake him. I would sit with him holding his hand and reflecting on funny stories from our past and laugh by myself as I would watch to see if he would give me some kind of response but nothing. Around eleven that evening I was beginning to doze off when I was woken up from him having a seizure, then another and then another. I was terrified, what was happening to him why was he doing this? So many questions and no answers from any of the