This Body Chapter 15 (pgs. 313-316)
Towards the end of This Body, when Victoria is scared to commit to her relationship with Alex, she returns home to Guyana. In Guyana, however, Victoria realizes that “belonging” has little to do with location, but must be found in self-acceptance and love. Before Victoria can return to London, she feels the need to undergo a rite of passage in order to feel comfortable and at home in her own body. Victoria takes Derek to Pico Tenerife, a steep cliff in Guyana, where a symbolically grand atmosphere sets the stage for a mystic epiphany in which Victoria becomes one with the natural forces, and in a dream-like state, learns to accept herself and let go of her past.
When they arrive at the cliff, Victoria muses that “[t]he otherworldly presence on this ridge is palpable” (313). While Victoria climbs the rock, a strong breeze “seems to hold her” (314), she is overwhelmed by the sound of the Atlantic, by the gusts of wind, the tremendous surf, “the crashing waves” and “jagged rock face” (314). In this primeval landscape, there suddenly appears a “feral goat, not like anything farmed on the island” (315) which serves to reinforce the otherworldly atmosphere. Victoria’s perception of the place becomes increasingly surreal as the rock suddenly seems to resemble pictures she has seen of “Greece,” “Chile,” “New Zealand,” “Wales,” or “France” (315). Victoria thinks: “Is this rock so indistinct as to be everywhere? With all the moving, place to place, everything starts to blur” (315). This mirrors the way Victoria has come to think about her own identity. She has moved around so much that she feels she belongs nowhere, and by extension, she feels blank, blurry, incomplete. Migration to the point of nonexistence.
At that precise moment, she slips and sprains her ankle. Derek, who on the cliff has had his own epiphany and emerges transformed, insists on getting help. He ignores his aunt’s worries and with a “new certainty” (316) takes off. Victoria sits on the rock alone, facing the sea and the dimming light: “But she’s surprisingly