Jorge Navarro
PC 1
June 27, 2012
Marital Issues: Restoring Hope Within the context of effort and innate good people, to rescue and/or improve a marriage takes constant devotion, study and application. The goal is to become what you ask for in a spouse. The first and major statement comes directly from the Bible. The thoughts of 1 Corinthians 13 are so powerful, direct, and eloquent (and so appropriate in marriage counseling). "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthian 13:47 In the common misconception that marriage is a fifty-fifty, the minister iterates that marriage takes a full hundred percent from each spouse and surrenders as much to the relationship. But we are all human beings, and we all fall short of these noble goals. Sometimes even caring, compassionate people fall into patterns of behavior that can destroy a marriage. Christian couples also experience separation and divorce. How do we build up a suffering marriage? How do we work through problems? In the course of a marriage, the couple soon discovers flaws of a marital spouse that could hinder the relationship, or create an opportunity for growth in the spouses relationship. When handling conflict I this manner, it is essential for the couple to remain patient and loving to say the least. Many building blocks are laid where one might call it a whole section of the foundation as couples deal with conflicts in marriage. One finds that the way conflicts and anger are handled is almost as important as the problems themselves. But before we discuss conflicts, we need to look at one or two preliminary issues. I believe the Bible sets forth some good guidelines for marriage partners, and these same guidelines are compatible with psychological principles. Wives should be respectful of their husbands, careful about their appearance, gentle, loving, and supportive. Husbands should strive for some of the same qualities. These same qualities are once again the qualities that we so hope for our spouses to be are ones we first must act upon and soon also become. One believes that men should also exercise caring leadership and try to develop qualities that are too often lacking in the male species: an ability to listen, an interest in communicating with their wives, honesty, an interest in spending time with the family, and making a commitment to "unconditional love. Many wives, of course, also need those same qualities. How many Christian couples pray together? Just the act of getting on your knees beside your spouse makes a statement about who you are, who your spouse is, and your relationship with God. Prayer can be a powerful influence in a relationship. If marriage partners will adopt those Biblical guidelines for their own, they will cement many blocks firmly in the structure of their marriage. Marriage partners must be informed about serious physical or emotional problems and be courageous enough to help a spouse overcome them if they exist. Some faltering marriages are in the grip of forces that can only be handled by trained professionals. For example, very odd or extremely eccentric behavior might signal severe problems. Strong, continuous anxiety, fear, or a bad physical condition might signal a need for hospitalization or therapy. Spouses too often deny the existence of serious substance abuse on the part of a spouse. Continuous cruel or antisocial behavior indicates a need for special help. If your marriage problem falls into one of these categories, don't try to solve things on your own. Seek help. Help can come in various different ways. From searching online for material or even reaching out to a close friend, sometimes the best help is an