Loving Your Husband In her recently published book Loving Your Husband, Patsy Loden discusses several ideas on how to transform your marriage and honor your covenant. This statement sounds much easier than it actually is. However, with effort and dedication from both spouses, this goal can become realistic in many marriages. Loden states from the beginning of her book that marriage does not come with a manual; therefore, not all these techniques will work for every marriage. Unfortunately, good marriages do not just happen. Loden tells her readers that marriage takes preparation. The Lord said in Titus 2:3-5 that the older woman ought to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children. We must allow God’s principles to become our nature. It is not just something we can jump into and become a professional.
Commitment is an extremely important part of the marriage covenant. A woman who is committed to her husband can result in a magnitude of different things. This creates trust and respect within the marriage. A problem that women have is that they are constantly trying to change their husbands into the spouses they want them to be. However, we must “teach our husbands without words – and he may change.” Sometimes it is not what we say, but it is what we do.
Loden gives examples of strong Biblical women who were tremendous influences in the lives of people. None of these women changed the behavior of others, but influenced them by their good actions. Loden quotes “The only person you have a right to change is yourself.” When we criticize and talk negatively about our husbands, we are slandering him. Slander is a sin according to the Scriptures. Rather than slandering our husbands, we are to be their helpers and encouragers in every way we can. If we treat them with love and respect, then we will reap the rewards God has promised us.
One thing that godly women do not and should not do is spread rumors about one another. We, as Christian women, should have self-control and be godly in our conduct. We should be the wives and mothers that God planned for us to be because the man cannot teach his daughters how to become good wives and mothers. Therefore, we should lead by our examples and show by our actions how to fulfill these important roles in the home.
Marriage is significantly important to God. He created it; therefore, He knows what He is talking about concerning the topic. We must “follow the blueprint [the Bible]…[because we] are responsible for building [our] home.” We should refer to the Word of God as a compass. It is here for our instruction, reproof, correction, and training. Loden asks, “How is God’s compass leading you?” If God is not the leading compass in our marriages, they will suffer greatly and will have no direction at all.
God’s marriage law states, “A man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” If either spouse is still attached to his or her father or mother, the marriage cannot grow and mature as it should. This will bring about problems and disagreements that could potentially harm the marriage. We can always turn to Colossians 3:18, which states, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Love is a large piece of the marriage relationship puzzle. Many things in our daily lives are based on love. Responsibility and respect are also extremely important in marriage. God gave wives the responsibility to love, respect, and cherish their husband just as he is, and we should live up to that responsibility. Loden presents a lists of “Be’s” that wives should remember including: be a loving friend to your husband, be in love with your children, be sensible and sober-minded, be pure, be a worker at home, be kind, be subject to your own husband, and be a good name for God’s glory. A man wants a wife who is dedicated to the family and who respects herself as a