Jan and Ken Case Study

1. Using the chapters on language and emotions to help frame your answer, suggest two ways that Ken could open this conversation more productively. For instance, clearly expressing his emotions and using “I” language. Ken could have approached Jen in a different, less confrontational tone. Perhaps if he had asked her do you have a minute? Jan would have felt as though her time was valuable. The biggest issue that Ken had is that he opened using “you” language. You language assigns blame and seem judgmental. Rather than expressing his feelings clearly, Ken accused Jan without giving her an opportunity to explain her side of the story. A better approach would have been the use of “I” language, for
Trying to find a common ground is usually successful because it sets the groundwork for understanding and finding a resolution. In this case it did not work because they were both so defensive.

5. Identify three places in the dialogue where Jan and Ken missed opportunities to manage conflict successfully. Ken and Jan missed several opportunities to solve the conflict. First of off, when Jan apologized and expressed that the information shared was a mistake and it took place before Ken started dating Shannon. Ken should have listened more carefully and began a dialogue then, perhaps less aggressive and more definitive about his emotions. Another instance was when Jan tried to find common ground by expressing he had done the same; Ken was dismissive about her viewpoint. Lastly, when Ken expressed that he would not want to share intimate information in the future, Jan could have taken the opportunity to reaffirm Ken of the value of the relationship. In doing so the conversation could have turn to conflict resolution rather than name calling. 6. What did you learn from this project?
This case it made it very clear to me how important it is to communicate supportively. Creating an environment where there is environment is supportive and comfortable makes all of the difference, it opens the door for a win-win orientation to the conflict. Not being clear in expressing emotions or focusing on “you” language fosters defensive attitudes. This