The Perfect Still…

Moonshine Meets the 21st Century

Kristi Parker

CISM 2201-A

February 16, 2012

Abstract

Since the beginning of time (or at least the beginning of the revenuers) people across America have tried to think of a foolproof way of making moonshine. Now, through technological advances in the past decade, making the perfect moonshine without having to watch it constantly, is a reality.

Since the beginning of prohibition, people have been making moonshine. Up until now though, they have not been able to make it, be free of worries, and still have a life away from the deep woods. Thanks to Ikahn Doytall, a now famous scientist from Backcreek, it is now possible to make moonshine without even being there (Doytall, 2012).

According to Louellen Fordham, “Making moonshine is an art. You mess up one step, or burn the fire a little too hot, and you’re whole investment (and the kids Christmas) is gone up in smoke”(Fordham, 1998). People do not want to buy over or undercooked moonshine, and up until now the only way to ensure perfect moonshine is to watch your still almost 24/7, making sure the fire doesn’t go out or someone doesn’t decide to come along and make it too hot.

After years of technological research and intense field study, Ikahn Doytall has finally found the perfect solution to this terribly bothersome problem: The Remote Controlled Still. He began coming up with the idea after seeing Jim Dunmyer’s invention of the remote controlled wood stove, in 1985 (Dunmeyer, 1985). This got Doytall thinking that if you could remotely control a wood burning stove, then why couldn’t he do the same thing for his still. He began researching. He started taking apart VHS Players, desktop computers, microwaves, electric razors, walkmans, and his son’s remote robot. His first attempts were almost complete failures, but he stuck with it, learning something from each of his failures.

After reading Robert Robertson’s book, The Easy Way To Riches… Without Getting Caught, Doytall decided that he had to make it work. Robertson’s words “If you have an idea, and the will to make it work, it doesn’t matter what the law says, there’s nothing stopping you except yourself” were an inspiration to him and made him more determined (Robertson, 2011).

The recent invention of the remote controlled fireplace gave him the last bit of technology he was looking for. “The new DX1500 gas fireplace from Escea, featuring connectivity to iPhones and Android devices via WiFi which can be used as a remote control, as well as high efficiency and the option for a single or double sided, see-through fireplace. Designed with intelligent mobility in mind, users simply download the app and users can control the temperature,