When communicating with others we are always analyzing the communicator, and ourselves, and at the same time we are constantly on the defense when we feel that we are being attacked. There are occasions in my life where I was on the defensive side because of the situations that I was in. There are six defensive behaviors, according to Gibbs, that we use when we feel that we are under attack. If these defensive behaviors are implemented correctly a positive climate should be the result.
One category that I have used personally is the evaluation behavior.
The book “Interplay”, defines evaluation as “judgments towards other people, usually in a negative way.”(Ch10, pg325) A situation with my dad and I incorporates the evaluation defensive strategy. I was coming home late from my night festivities and my dad sensed that I was under the influence, so he started yelling at me. Automatically I said to him “You don’t know what you are talking about.” Even though this was true, it was not the correct way to defend myself. Right after I said that I felt guilty right away, because I was judging my dads worries. It is necessary to add description when trying to express your thoughts and feelings because it eliminates the chance to judge others. A more appropriate response would have been, “Dad, I am not drunk. Give me a test if you want. However I am late because there was an accident on the highway and traffic was held up for an hour.” This statement adds description to the situation and is a much better response than the evaluating one that I thought of automatically. Another Gibbs defensive strategy that I have used was the control defensive behavior. It is defined in “Interplay”, “when a sender seems to be imposing a solution on the receiver with little regard for that persons needs or interests.”(Ch10, pg326). Working at an afterschool program, I have noticed control as a big issue with kids. Situations occur on a daily basis, where I have to be controlling in order to keep up with our daily schedule. For example, during recess when issues arise such as kids not taking their outs or constant argument over a rule, I will impose a controlling statement such as, “Bring me the ball, everyone that was playing wall ball is now on timeout.” This is also an example of negative punishment, which increases the likelihood that the negative occurring behavior will not occur again due to the punishment imposed. Due to vast amount of