Daddy I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll be better. I couldn’t say goodbye not yet. He says it’s not my fault. I don’t believe him. We were leaving with no exact point of return and it was final. I take my brothers hand after we say our good-byes and we board the plane. He said it would get better, that this was going to fix things, I couldn’t help but think that were a lie too. It was me and my brother against the world now and now it was my turn to grow up.

“Look after him,” the last words before I was shipped away. Since when did all of this become my responsibility? I was beyond words, so I plastered on my its all going to be okay face and reassured my brother that everything was alright, that this would be good for us. 3 hours, that’s how long it took him to cry himself to sleep that night on my shoulder. As I carefully laid a blanket over him I felt this overwhelming feeling that he needed me. A feeling that had been lost to me for a long time. At the age of 12 ¾, I changed. I grew up. I took care of my brother.

Change comes weather or not you are ready for it or not. Life threw me a lot of changes in a very short amount of time forcing me to mature well beyond my physical age. I feel and have always felt trapped in a body that must be to young to match internal being. Everyone deals with hardships and in the end its how you embrace your hardships and difficulties that shape you into the person you are. My life hasn’t been easy and it’s about as