My Personality Disorder Essay

Submitted By slink1
Words: 863
Pages: 4

A lack of trust is something that was probably instilled in me unknowingly as a child due to my parents and my upbringing. My lack of trust makes me leery of most people I come across, but not to a point where it consumes me on a regular basis. The suspicion of others is present in my close personal relationships as well as with people I am meeting for the first time. This causes me to be stressed out a lot of times when it is probably unnecessary and I will actually lose sleep over it because my mind is going a hundred miles per hour. However, it does not affect just me. My family, friends, and strangers unfortunately are affected because of this suspicion. I have known my husband for eleven years. We have been together for ten of those. Sometimes when he tells me he is going to hang out with a friend, I wonder where he really is. He has never given me reason to think he would be with another woman or that he would intentionally lie about something like that. However, I will actually keep myself awake at night, not matter the hour, until he gets home and I am usually in bed by ten o’clock every night. When I consult with patients at work about costly treatment that is needed, when they tell me they will be back with a personal check or cash in the back of my head I’m saying “Yeah, right!” Sometimes when patients write me a check for a large dollar amount, I wait for the bank to notify us that it has not cleared. I will not schedule certain procedures unless I have payment up front because of these suspicious fears. I also check IDs multiple times even I have seen the person ten times. I do not know this person and I know nothing about them. If my lack of trust in people was more severe, it could be considered a disorder from a dimensional standpoint. I think it is normal to be less trusting of people you do not know, but to be distrusting of someone that has earned your trust is not so normal. If I took my lack of trust to the extreme, I would literally be so consumed by worrying about trusting people that I would not be able to function normally. My lack of trust would have me questioning myself eventually on top of everyone around me. If my distrust in my patients became evident to them because of the severity, I would lose my job and affect my company’s reputation. My disorder would be described as a severe lack of trust disorder rather than a suspicion disorder because I am not suspicious of anything except people’s words or actions. It would be described as someone who feels they cannot trust anyone due to being suspicious of their words or actions. The disorder does not apply to anyone specifically and the distrust can reach strangers as well as loved ones. People would be identified as having this disorder similarly to those with obsessive compulsive disorder. A person would have to recognize there is an issue present in order for treatment to be a possibility. It also shares some traits of OCD because of the obsession with thinking people are being