Taylor Spicer

When I look in the mirror, I know I see a different person than what everyone else sees. I see beauty; someone who knows their true colors inside and out. I see kindness; someone who Is always there in any situation to lend a helping hand. I see strength; someone who has been through many obstacles in life and has overcome them, leading them to be a better person. I see forgiveness; someone who always finds a way in their heart to let things go, but never to forget.

I walk around feeling invincible. In the past few years I have witnessed things a normal sixteen year old girl should never go through. These situations have built me up to believe that I am capable of getting through anything that comes my way. I have had struggle, insecurities, and heartbreak. What I have been through in my past has had an effect on who I am now, and it will effect who I am in the future. However, it will not have a bad effect, it will only have good.

Growing up, I went without my real father. He never really cared about who I was or what I was doing so it makes it really hard to trust people and know that they won’t up and walk out of my life. My grandfather was basically the only real dad I ever had. He was the only “dad” who ever bought me things and was there to listen to whatever I had to say, always there to help me. My grandfather just passed away on August 4th this year. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I am lost and feel like I have no one I can trust. He was my superman. No matter what happened he could always make it better. I now have to be strong for myself and for my Grandma because I promised him I would be there for her, and that I would make him proud. I sat by his side until he took his last breath, and now I will do any and everything I can to make him proud, and I will do that until I take my last breath.

My mother and I have never had a relationship. I have went the last several years feeling alone and un important. She has put me down, screamed, doubted me, criticized me, and judged me as long as I can remember. All my life I have done nothing but try to make her proud. However, no matter what I do, she tells me that I am embarrassing and makes me feel worthless. I feel like I’m not a good enough daughter for her, even though I try to be. I am always trying to please her and she never accepts me. As oddly as it sounds, I have already had my first heart break. I am almost seventeen years old and have been with the same person since age