My God Sent Angel
Have you ever met someone and felt like you have been struck by Cupids arrow? Is this love you might ask yourself, or is it just lustful tendencies hiding behind romance? My relationships with woman have always been met with challenges. I lacked the tools necessary to keep a relationship afloat, and my views on woman were one that only satisfied my libido. That was until I came across this amazing woman named Caren. This woman carried a message that enlightened me to examine my views on woman and the relationships I have with them.
I met Caren back in September of 2010 at a local A.A. meeting that was being held in a church attic. I was very shy and nervous about being there. I was all of 30 days sober and the
Caren taught me that along with countless other life’s lessons. She had 24 years of deep emotional sobriety and I was attracted to that. I’ve never once looked at a woman for their intellectual or emotional stimulation. It was all based on physical stimulation. I objectified woman for sexual gratification. She would always question the motives of our relationship. She taught me that lustful tendencies can hide themselves in a deep corner masked by romance. That was so true for me because I would fall in love with such ease but the relationship would never last and I would blame others for it. But this time it going to be different I thought to myself. I truly believed that Caren had something special that I could benefit from. And for the next two years I did.
Caren was so different than anyone I have ever been in a relationship with. She was so intense and deep with her emotions. She wouldn’t accept feelings and emotions at surface level. These feelings and emotions needed to be explored further into depth to uncover the meaning behind them. “Why” was a common word that she spoke. Sometimes that would become quite problematic in our relationship because I wasn’t used to digging deep into my inner self and trying to figure me out. I would simply tell her “Caren I refuse to drink your kool aid today.” She was such a good sport about it. She would simply answer with a chuckle and a smile.
Caren also