Friendship, such an insignificant and mild word, yet it yields such an extraordinary bond, holy connection and unconditional love between two human souls. Often being disregarded, it is unknown to many that it is what can be the most life sustaining and death defying human intimacy we would all experience at one point. Three years ago, I was not an advocate of this belief. There was always an unbreakable barrier between society and I, like water and oil, we did not blend. Through friendship, I saw utter dependency; I did not see the true meaning and the joy of bonding. I thoroughly despise reliance.

But that was me in the past; I’d never really know how to care for others. I’d thought that I could live better off without the world. But then God probably saw that I was too full of myself, so He granted me a friend. When our path crossed, my life had changed forever. Rena had taught me the 5 jewels of friendship which ultimately became the gems of my life.

Sympathy, to care more about others.
Empathy, to understand people.
Altruism, to be selfless.
Tolerance, to be forgiving.
Trust, to have faith in others.

The Late Lois Wyse once quoted: “A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”

Rena had entirely altered my perspective towards friendship, allowing me to realize the mistake that I’ve been making. Back then, I wasn’t living life to the fullest, I may as well confess I know nothing about making the best out of life.

Humans are all granted joy. But joy is sealed in a box. To procure gratifications, there are two things that are needed simultaneously to decipher the seemingly impenetrable box. One being the desire to acquire a peace of mind, and the other being friendship, acting as a boost to enhance exuberance leading to satisfactions in life.

I agree with what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “ The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with friendship.” That particular period of my life being buddies with Rena was the preeminent time of my life; I was no longer egoistic like I was. Never a day did anguish came back for me.

Or at least, that was what I hoped. It seems I was destined to endure solitary all my life.

…

The spicy fragrance of carnation scented the cold, dead air. Rows and rows of tombstone created an ambience of sequestration. Following the shivering blast of wind down my spine and the rattling of tangerine leaves, it was as if the dead was giving out a taciturn warn to not interfere in their everlasting rest.

I did not bother nor did I care, I continued to intrude in the cemetery until I found a pink marble tombstone. The colors were already starting to fade away, just like the memories I had with her. Visible words were carved on the tombstone.
Rena W. Carvender
(1998-2012)
A daughter, a sister and a friend,
Deeply missed and loved.
It had been a year ago and yet I could not surpass my feeling for the loss of a great friend. Her demise engraved a scar in the abysmal of my heart. A scar that could never be healed.

Setting aside the wilted flowers, I place the new bunch of carnations beside her grave. I specifically chose the red and white stripped flowers which resemble both my feelings and regrets.

I have predicted that it would happen, but not on Rena. I was envisioning my future. Rena was always portrayed as Mona Lisa, the girl who was ecstatic and cheerful; whereas I was the temperamental one. Despite the fact that I was conceited with obscurity, she remained at my side through times and while I was confronting my fears she held my hand and guided me out of oblivion.

I was once a drug addict, I had fear that society might look down on me because of my dark past, all my right maybe abrogated just