Fear
There I was 20 years old, starting my new job and pregnant. This was a time that I was supposed to be having fun in college, partying and just having fun. Not only was I pregnant but pregnant by a man that physically and mentally abused me. It was a relationship in which was not healthy. I could not break free from him for fear that he would kill me. He had threatened my life many times and even when I tried to get away, he would beat me so bad at times I would have to call in to work, so they would not see the black eyes and brusies. I could not tell anyone what was going on because I was ashamed and I knew he would beat me more.

I knew in my heart that I could not have this baby. I didnt want my child to grow up in an unstable environment. It's father didn't love me, I was a piece of meat, not a person. This child would keep me forever connected to him. How could I live my life and raise a child when I knew it was filled with abuse? That would not be healthy for me or my child. Every morning I would wake up scared not knowing what was going to happen next. Would I get a black eye today or get, pushed down the stairs,or maybe even punched in my chest like I was a man. It was just too much for me to handle on a day to day basis. I get tired of crying every day and getting talked to and beat on like he was my pimp, because thats how I felt. I did not feel like I was in a relationship at all. So fed up with everything, I knew what I had to do.
As I entered the abortion clinic I could hear the protestors in the street screaming, pleading--"Don't kill your baby", but would these protestors be there for the rest of my life? Would they help me raise my baby? Would they deal with the abusive father of this child? Would they care why I was having an abortion, or what I was going through at home? Of course not. When I went in I was so scared because the staff was so unpleasant, like sit down fill out these forms and bring them back up to the window, But I knew what had to be done. Then I talked to the counsler she just seemed like she was only there for a paycheck. She talked to me as if I was dumb and did not have any knowledge of what I was doing. So she went over the paper work with me then rushed me out of there. Next I went to go pay the 545.00 for the procedure.
There I was about to have an abortion. I got undressed in the dressing room the nurse came went over my medical history and started my i.v. I was so scared, I was so alone. So the nurse brung me to the procedure room where they put me on the table then we waited for the doctor to come in . When the doctor came in he asked me my name and date of birth then the procedure began. I remember feeling bad cramps and I will never forget that I seen all the blood in a bottle although I felt sad but, I will never forget what I felt when the procedure was over. PEACE. It was a peace that I had never before experienced. I stood up and walked out of that clinic a free woman. I was happy again. I had been given a second chance at life.

So when I got home I acted like everthing was fine. I did my normal routine cook, clean, make his plate,and watch tv with him. We talked then went to bed. The morning came he went to work and I called in. I was now free to get away from this abusive relationship and I DID. I packed all my vaubles that I wanted and needed and left I’m pretty sure he was surprised like hell when he got home and all my stuff was gone. And now I work at Planned Parent Hood I help other women get out of abusive situations like I was once in.

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