When planning how to go about this paper, I got nervous to think how to do so in a manner that is not offensive to the stuttering community. When debating how to approach strangers while stuttering, I could not help to get nervous at the thought of me laughing while stuttering and the strangers thinking I was making a joke about the whole thing. I tend to be very sensitive to other people’s reactions and feelings towards me and I did not want to come off rude. Growing up, I knew a kid who stutters and I remember how embarrassed he would feel whenever someone would make fun of him and imitate him. I believe this is one of the reasons why I am sensitive towards this exercise. I also felt nervous going into this experiment since in a way I feel
This one kept me up for a couple of nights. I had a dream about me stuttering to a person and the person walking away from me. In the real exercise, I stutter at the cashier at Michael’s store. I tried to make a short conversation as the cashier was ringing up my merchandise. I showed prolongations, and part-word repetitions while blinking and tilting my head to the side. The cashier looked at me with wondering, cautious eyes. The cashier looked a little younger than me, and it gave me the impression that maybe she thought I was under the influence of something. I left the store quick after paying. I felt somewhat embarrassed by this last interaction. Once again, I left without clarifying that I am voluntarily stuttering.
Stuttering to friends was definitely easier than stuttering to strangers. I do not know why I could not bring myself to explain to the strangers why it was that I was stuttering to them. I also do not know why it is that I feel that I had to explain to them why it was that I was stuttering. Does it matter if they think I am a stutterer or not? Maybe if I see or speak to them again, would I have to explain why it is that I do not stutter anymore? Would they even remember that I was stuttering to them? So many questions left