Amanda Sosaya
Mrs. Rush
English 1
20 November 2014
Characteristics of a Successful Marriage What does it take for a couple to maintain a happy, healthy, and strong marriage? Take a look at marriages today as opposed to twenty or more years ago. What has changed? Over the past two decades divorce has doubled in the United States (Kennedy). According to TIME magazine, 81% of the college graduates who married in the 80’s were still married twenty years later. Now, only half of marriages succeed. “50% of newlyweds are destined for Splitsville (Luscombe).” Divorce has so easily become the quick solution to problems that can and most likely will arise in a marriage; problems can be related to lack of communication, financial worries, no appreciation for one another, and even sexual problems. Couples no longer try, or even want to fight to save their marriages. Because of this, America has the highest divorce rate in the Western world (Bennet). In the year 2000 the Unites States had the highest divorce rate, per thousand, out of Denmark 4.0, Canada 3.4, Japan 3.1, Spain 1.4 and Italy 1.0, with the US at 6.2. Our belief in a fresh start is reflected in our high divorce rate (“Snapshot of America”). What a bad reputation; love in marriage is something worth fighting to save. This is a huge wake up call for the future marriages of America. Marriage is not something to rush into or take lightly. Being married means spending everyday with your partner for the rest of your lives. Learning the lifestyle of a marriage is crucial. Discussing what type of lifestyle you want with your partner before marriage such as; having children, participating in domestic duties, control of finances, practicing monogamy. This will help couples to compromise sooner rather than years into a marriage. Will this person be committed to their spouse? Will they appreciate and take the time to communicate with their spouse? Couples could spend years getting to know their partner’s personality before this milestone in life. The wait can pay off, the longer it takes to learn all this about someone, the better. One cannot determine if they will marry another after just a few dates. It is important to find out who their partner really is and decide if they can handle everything about them, good and bad. “For every year we put off marriage, our chances of divorce go down” (Bennett). For example, I knew a couple who rushed into marriage before getting to know who each other really was and not even a year later they were getting a divorce. This happened because the honeymoon stage wore off, and they couldn’t accept each other for who they really were. Finding out and accepting a partner’s flaws can be hard for couples, but it is better to know what they are and accept them before getting married. Maybe your spouse walks away and shuts down to avoid conflict instead of calmly communicating. Maybe they leave their dirty clothes all over the house, or spend too much money when they are stressed. For example before marrying my husband I had to get used to sleeping next to someone who snores like a bear and hogs the bed. Take the time to learn and understand each other before marriage. Divorce is so common today, and for a couple to stay happily married for longer than two or three years is rare because every healthy and strong relationship needs commitment, appreciation of one another, good communication, and a desire to spend time together. This is not easy and takes hard work, but support services are available for struggling couples. Couples who are worried about their futures are not alone. Statistics alone are enough to scare you. More than half of all first marriages end in divorce and second marriages are not any better. The percentage of a second marriage failing is close to sixty. In 2000 the percent of couples to reach their fifth anniversary went down from 95% in the 1960’s to 89% (Gottman 16-17). There is no doubt that some couples