Bath time

Can opener clashed against sword as Our Valiant Hero fought his arch nemesis Señor Pato on the deck of his well-worn ship. Though Our Valiant Hero was drenched to the bone, water seemed to roll off his arch nemesis’ form; due to being a rubber duck. The wind blew and foam sprayed as the sea churned and a gruesome monster, with strings of drool hanging off of its snarled mouth, leaped out of the water. Señor Pato gave one last swipe of his sword before turning and waddling to the edge of the ship, jumping onto his faithful sea monster. With roar as rough as bark, the sea monster and Senor Pato rushed away, taking with them the Book of Prophecy, entitled 1984, that was stolen from Our Valiant Hero. If Señor Pato read the prophecy he would gain the knowledge that would transform him into a being with magical powers capable of world domination though controlling his robot army of Thought Police. These Thought Police would ultimately turn all humans into bumbling idiots. So with his arch nemesis escaping to his lair, Our Valiant Hero sheathed his can opener, slung on his robe and steered the boat in the same direction, following as fast as he possibly could.

Eventually reaching land by trailing the wake Señor Pato’s sea monster left behind, Our Valiant Hero set off on his arduous journey to retrieve the book of prophecy. Far off in the distance, with ominous black clouds swirling around the tip he could see the peak of Señor Pato’s mountaintop lair. Trudging through a dank marsh Our Valiant Hero lifted his robe above his knobby knees, attempting to avoid the sludge from destroying the important tools in his pockets needed for the rest of the quest. Drawing ever nearer to the vast swamp Our Valiant Hero began to see an object in the distance. As he moved towards it, the unrecognizable object began to take form. It was a rickety wooden bridge connecting the two cliffs that were situated beneath Señor Pato’s lair. As soon as Our Valiant Hero put one foot onto it preparing to cross, the bridge swayed violently as a hideous hand grabbed onto the swaying bridge from below.

Swinging itself onto the bridge and revealing themselves, the misshaped mustard-colored troll bared her painted claws and screeched “Leave or die, nerd!” Cautiously, Our Valiant Hero continued to approach the deformity. Smoothly, so as to make no sudden movements, Our Valiant Hero reached into the pocket of his worn robe and drew out a treasure. “I bring payment, your malevolence,” Our Valiant Hero calmly proclaimed. With that, the troll glared at him and snatched the Canadian nickel from his outstretched hand. “Fine, whatever nerd. Just don’t bother me anymore.” And with that, the troll jumped off the bridge, leaving a clear path for Our Valiant Hero.

Up ahead, at the top of a speckled mountain, was Our Valiant Hero’s arch nemesis’ lair. As Our Valiant Hero began to climb, his feet sank mildly into the spongy surface of the mountain. With every step that was taken, the aroma of fiber and chocolate seemed to seep out of the mountain. It appeared to resemble a Fibre One bar. Noting the similarity, Our Valiant Hero quickly broke off a piece of the mountain gulping it down in an attempt to keep his strength up for the future encounter with Señor Pato. With the added help of his snack, Our Valiant Hero eventually reached the peak of the mountain, where a rose gold door was fashioned into the Fibre One.

As he looked closer, he saw that in the left top corner of the door there was a calculator with “password” scrolling across the screen. Reaching into his pocket and drawing out his magical pink high lighter. Keeping in mind it only has enough magic to perform one simple task, Our Valiant Hero pointed it towards the calculator commanding it to enter the correct password. With a sparkle one nine eight and four appeared on the screen. The numbers disappeared from the calculator screen and the word “enter” replaced them. With one final beep, the door thunked