Never to old to learn, hopefully not to late.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in life’s challenges we lose ourselves in daily routines. I found myself in a horrific situation. I was so wound up in trying to get things repaired and cleaned up at home; I forgot to stay grounded with my family in check. I never realized that I was losing the most important people in my life. My wife, had enough, I was losing my respect and honor and never realized I was drowning in a pool of Domestic Abuse.
I always thought that was the other guy, wrong! I had lost my way with my family. My wife Paula was thru, she had enough, and I had gone way overboard trying to get cooperation, yelling about everything needing to get done. I was wrong and didn’t even realize that I was deep in an Abusive Relation, but I had not realized I was the abuser. What? Me? Yes, and I never saw it coming.
Let me tell you the worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. When you come home to the one you love, cherish, adore and would die for, and find she has moved out!
Why, is the first questioning that pop’s in your mind. The answers slowly start to reveal the unwanted truths of my new nightmare.
I have become that sick loser guy that abuses his own loving family. What, you say, How could you be abusive to people you love. Stress, work overload, life situations, all can swallow a person up into an abusive relationship.
Lost, hurt, and broken, a man who thought he was doing right for his family, now standing in a half empty home, alone, very alone. With my family missing and no way to contact them, I felt my heart stop!
Every emotion surged through my body at the same time, how could my wife do this to me? I do as much for her as I can everyday; I have never felt a love as great as Paula’s love. It hurts, wow did it hurt.
I had a couple days of this cold, empty, loneliness, anger, weeping over the loss of my precious Paula.
I couldn’t stand being in this old building, Hell, I was only here because my wife wanted her store, her life long dream. I drove around alot, trying to make since of it all in my head. I eventially I would end up at a friends where I researched Domestic Abuse and Abusive Relationships.
The information that I could find was based on Red Flags, what to look for in abusive relationships, I was shocked, I absolutely freaked. I knew we had some issues and we had been and are currently working with Doctors and Counselors to correct them.
I found that I was living in an Abusive Relationship, and even worse, I was the Abuser. I never would have believed I was so abusive, I was yelling, and ranting more and more.
I never saw it, as I read and learned more and more, I felt more and more shame, I hated what I had become. The more I pushed to get things done, the more I push my family away. The realization of what I had become hit me with such a force, my friend thought he was going to have to call for Paramedics, I couldn’t breath, I was gasping for air, I was mortified at what I had found.
Thank you Teni and all of Paula’s friends who are actively helping my wife stay hidden from, well, Me! After studying over the material, Hell, I would have told my wife to get away from me too and I would have said run don’t walk.. This is very disturbing to me, I would never intentionally harm my family, I’m sure most people wouldn’t, it can happen to anyone.
I’m in love with my wife, for all it’s worth! Paula, I love you, it broke my heart the day you left me but I don’t blame you at all, when I stopped back by the house to ask why she took the Card out of my walet without my knowledge, I found odd, that was so unlike her, so I had to ask. She startled when I enter the room, then just stare at me ( I know why now) without answer, I had to get to work, I was just curious, but what killed me was, I raised my hands to turn and exit and you jumped like I was going to do something to you, that’s why I said then, I hate it that you do that! (jump) It