Waiter! Where’s my food?
Restaurant: Alabasta
Setting- A nice, fancy, wonderful, reasonably priced, beautiful Italian restaurant, on the lower East side, next to the Ocean in France. The Ocean is sparkling clean, despite it being next to France. It is a busy restaurant that has just opened for the day.
Situation:
A waiter is experiencing the first day on the job and he is not doing so well. The restaurant is busy and loud and orders are being made left and right. All of this wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that he arrived late and is very nervous.A group of customers is giving him an especially hard time, with their strange languages and bad attitude.
Dialogue:
Chef Daniel: Where is that blasted fool? He should have been here an hour ago, it’s his first day.
(The waiter bursts in through the door stumbling and tripping)
Waiter Chris: Umm… I’m so very incredibly sorry sir. I couldn’t find my shoes, my car backfired, I didn’t have enough money to pay for the bus,so I had to run to work and some dogs ended up chasing me.
Chef Daniel: Well none of that matters now. All that matters is your shift. Now get to work.
Waiter Chris: (shaking/trembling) Yes, sir. I will not disappoint you. (goes to attend the customers)
Smith, Johnson and Rodriguez all sitting at a table together, all talking at once:
Waiter Chris: (Very shaky and nervous) Hello, I’m your attend and I will waiter you today. I mean... umm..how can I uhhh.. help you?
Ms. Rodriguez: I want a loaded potato soup with bacon and cheese. I also want a banana smoothie with. NO MILK! I’m lactose intolerant. And the banana has to be cut symmetrically before being blended.The bacon has to be Turkey bacon. The potato has to be organic. And the cheese can’t be made from milk!
Waiter: Umm… we don’t serve smoothies...
Ms. Smith: A crab cake soup with extra crab please but please leave the crab alive. I like my crab fresh as possible. Also Give me hot tea please, i expect that it will be at it will be precisely 122 degrees, i can’t have my tea too cold. And by 122 degrees, of course I expect Celsius.
Waiter: This is an Italian restaurant… if you’d like a crab cake soup and tea there’s a wonderful shop nearby that-
Ms. Johnson: I’ll have the broccoli- cheese soup with only cheddar cheese that has been separated from the broccoli for 15 minutes without interference from other food items. The broccoli should also be 2 inches tall with an average circumference of one inch cut into cubes with a volume of 3/4ths of a centimeter.
Waiter Chris: Umm… I’m sorry, but could you say that again…? You don’t have to though… you know… you’re the customer… it’s totally up to you. *Trails off*
Ms. Johnson: I should think not. Any competent person would be able to remember that order.
Is this restaurant of such a low class that they cannot even hire waiters that can take three orders?! If they only have one waiter, they should at least make it a good one.
Waiter Chris: (*mumbles*) I don’t know if I’m incompetent… Yes ma’am! I’m sorry! (yells, but somewhat sadly) I’ll be back with your order soon ma’am!
Chef Daniel: Is the service to your satisfaction ladies…?
Ms.Rodriguez: No! He’s a total n00b and I could totally pwn him with my level 77 warrior.
Chef Daniel: Errr…?
Chef Daniel sneaks away, and goes into the kitchen.
After a couple minutes, and some sounds are heard from the direction of the kitchen, the waiter comes back with platters. The women are impatiently tapping their nails, with the exception of Ms.Rodriguez, who is
