The World that was Against Me

Everyday it’s the same old thing I wake up, go to a school filled with people who think I am nothing, go home, eat maybe, and go to bed. Even though I hate going to school due to the fact that I am bullied and bruised. I would rather go to school and escape for 8 hours, than be at home. Nobody sees the pain, and the scars I have. That I feel. I put a smile on everyday so everyone thinks I’m fine with it. But I’m NOT! Every morning when I wake up, and every night before I fall asleep I say to me “tomorrow will be different.” Then I laugh. What is a 14-year-old frail girl going to do? It’s not like I can stand up to the big bullies. They would demolish me. And what am I supposed to do at home? They are all bigger and much stronger than I am. Plus they are family. I’m not supposed to be mean to them even if they are to me. Do you know what today is? It’s Friday, and that means tomorrow is the weekend. That is a whole 48 hours I am to spend with my family. I was not looking forward to that as I started to tear a little. But I can’t focus on that. I need to prepare myself for the day that is here. Today is another typical day. I wake up, get ready, but today it was extremly cold out and they made me walk. I do not know why, but they did. What a way of life. Right? 30 minutes of being in the freezing cold went by and I was finally at school. I looked down at my hands, which were turning black and blue. I walked up the stairs entering wildlife also known as high school. My head down, I walked quickly to my locker, trying to avoid eye contact. In my head I thought “please don’t be there, please don’t be there!” but there they were, “the best”, the meanest, nastiest group of all time. They are at my locker every morning, ready to give me my morning beat down. I still have the burn marks they gave me a few weeks ago. Is school not a place to feel safe? As I came to my locker, I saw the leader, the one who ran the show. Her name is Gigi. My heart began to race, my feet speed up, and I could feel the back of my neck hair stand up. I didn’t stop at my locker today, I didn’t want to get hurt, but I knew that wasn’t possible. A smile came to my face as I passed the group. I felt relief knowing they didn’t see me. As I began to slow down, I almost tripped. Well I thought I did. I couldn’t believe I thought I made it pass them. “I thought” as I was cleaning up my books from the ground. Round 1 is about to start now. They dragged me to where we usually go when they beat me up. The disgusting bathroom. We walked in and they threw my books everywhere. This was my Friday beat down, which consisted of punches, slaps, and kicks. When they were finally finished, I only had a few cuts, and bruises. It wasn’t that bad today, but I wasn’t complaining. Finally, the day was over. I survived through lunch, I’m starving, but I made it. I haven’t eaten anything for the past two days. I usually eat whatever was left but most of the time it’s nothing. I am so weak it’s hard to do anything. I can hardly walk, and more importantly defend myself. The final bell rings and I walk as quickly as I can to avoid the rush. I decided I was going to walk home, just so I could spend a little more time away. Out into the cold I go for 30 more minutes. I would go to a friend’s house, but what friend do I have? As I reached my door, I could already hear the screams between my parents. It is almost four, which means mother will be leaving for work. I though school was bad with all the bruises, but it’s nothing compared to the abuse I get at home. When both parents are home, they yell and hit me for absolutely nothing. They live like royals and I am their servant. I never go anywhere with them, and when they do leave they lock up everything so I don’t get into it. I have tried suicide but I can never bring myself to do it. All the ways I thought of were too slow to