The Three Words I can remember sitting in my room diagnosing myself with various disorders, from Raynaud's phenomenon, to Diabetes. I knew two things were certain from then on, eating a McDouble a day, even if I craved it, was unhealthy, and I needed to change my diet for the better.
“My hands are turning blue! Look!" I roared at the love of my life.
"No they’re not, it’s just the lighting in here." he chuckled a bit. His laid back attitude to my horrifying rampage of infuriation stabbed me violently. “Stop being weird, and just eat.”
At that instant I had had enough; I packed up my two remaining McDoubles, threw the fries in the bag, and rushed out the door with no more words spoken. As I sat in the car, crying while indulging my delicious lump of calories, I thought to myself, was I being too harsh? Of course not! He was the idiot who didn't see what was going on before his eyes. I saw and felt what occurred, I am certainly not crazy, he is! Why am I so frustrated; am I and does he think I am crazy?
There were days where I would scrimmage for change in between my car seats, and under my mats just to get my “fix”. It was all worth it because when I bit into that hot, juicy burger a part of me felt relieved. After all I would not have eaten anything up to that point of my day.
My little dilemma was without a doubt unhealthy, but when coming from an obese family, being thin was “good enough.” I never really watched what I ate as my motto was, “if it is good I will keep eating it.” As far as eating three meals a day, who has time for that? My family never enforced it, so it became norm to skip breakfast and lunch. This method of eating would only later explain why I was so tired throughout my high school days.
As weeks past, I continued my unwholesome habit. The weight packed on like crazy, that is when I was determined to get on a nourishing path. I was done feeling nauseas, and having heartburn every night at sixteen.
When arriving to the doctors, I couldn’t help but feel nervous, and ashamed. I didn’t want him to look down upon me for my foolish behavior. I was a sane person and well aware of what I was doing, I just needed help finding ways to stay away from my previous decisions, and eating like I should. Flashbacks of my eating choices filled my head, I wanted to break down and let it all out. I maintained composure, and took responsibility for my own actions. From this point forward I would take better care of myself.
“Abby your pregnant.” he awkwardly forced out of his mouth. Three words I never thought I would have to hear so early in my life. My problem had only complicated itself by times infinity that very moment, however the nausea, heartburn, craving, and the 25 pounds of blubber was all explained with those 3 simple but life changing words.
My doctor reassured me everything would be fine. He handed me pamphlets on diet plans, and nutrition facts. I couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty; the way I was eating must have been unsafe for my new child. All I could do from this point forward was change my eating habits for the both of us, and pray he would be alright.