Technology

Animals How to survive attacks from the world’s most dangerous animals by:AskMen From: AskMen
August 05, 20143:50PM

Erm, help. Animals that can gobble us whole or throw us like rag dolls are best avoided but if you’re unlucky enough to come face-to-face with one here are some survival tips. Source: Supplied CONTRARY to popular belief, most animals don’t want to eat us — too much effort for not enough meat.
I frequently remind myself of this when I end up in uncompromising situations with large, toothy creatures — such as the time I had to repel feeding bull sharks with my camera or paddle through pods of angry hippos when rafting down the Zambezi River.
While the chances of getting ravaged by a wild animal remain low, in my line of work it’s important to be mentally prepared. When confronting something that is significantly stronger, larger and hungrier than I am, a number of scenarios whizz through my grey matter. Should I run away or confront the snarling beast? Or climb a tree — maybe that’s a good plan? Or perhaps I should try reasoning with my new snorting, slobbering friend?
The fact is there are no universal rules for avoiding an animal attack: all species require a slightly different approach (note: reasoning is not normally one of them). Here I’ll take a look at five of the most feared creatures I’ve encountered and a few conflict resolution techniques.
Lions

Stand still, everyone. I don’t think he’s seen us. Source: Wiki Commons Source: Supplied
Most of the time lions are giant scaredy-cats that steer clear of people. However, if you do happen to bump into one on an ill-timed solo toilet stop, there are a few things you can do to avoid having its jaws clamped around your head. First off, try and go against every instinct in your body and stand your ground (there’s a reason the game is called “Cat and Mouse”). Make as much noise as possible and wave your arms around like a madman.
If it’s night-time and you have a torch, then flash it right into his peepers. If this doesn’t work, try walking backwards to the safety of a car or building, maintaining eye contact at all times. Always walk in a straight line, so it doesn’t look as if you’re making a run for it.
Elephants

Not to be messed with. Source: Supplied
These intelligent, generally gentle giants are just after the quiet life. However, just like hippos, they can get aggressive if they feel threatened and are very protective over their young. I’ve heard horror stories of matriarchs pulling tourists out of game vehicles and trampling them to death with such ferocity that almost every bone in their body was broken.
If you do encounter an apoplectic ele (ears out is a sure-fire sign it’s had a bad day), then rev the engine loudly. The ele may mock charge, but it’s likely to retreat quickly if you keep revving. If you’re on foot ensure you stay downwind. Elephants have a phenomenal sense of smell and can sniff out the vaguest hint of B.O. An elephant could outrun Usain Bolt so again, bolting is futile — hiding behind a tree is your best bet.
Sharks

Punch here. Good luck. Source: News Limited
Sharks have an unjust reputation as indiscriminate man-eaters. Yet every year more people die from falling off their chair or being electrocuted by their Christmas tree lights. Sharks simply don’t like the taste of humans. What they do very occasionally subscribe to is an exploratory mouthing — sadly, with a gob full of razor sharp teeth, this greeting can have deadly consequences.
If a shark looks set to give you a gumming, first off puff yourself out so you look as big as possible. Maintain eye contact and exhale bubbles, or shout at it and slap the surface of the water. If it’s getting much too close for comfort, then bop it on its sensitive snout, but punching underwater can be pretty tricky and you won’t get as much speed as out of it, so aim your fingers for its eyes and gills. If it does give you a non-fatal