“There once was a little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid.” That is the poem my mother used to recite to me when I was being “strong-willed”. Jokingly, I believe it is just a proper way of saying difficult; also known to my mother as stubborn, defiant and full of steam. One story in particular she described me as crying so angrily that my tears came shooting straight out. There may perhaps be some exaggeration there. Fast forward almost 25 years later and I gave birth to my very own little six pound ten ounce “nightmare”. My mother feels joy knowing I am getting what I gave. Isn’t that sweet? Dr. James Dobson in his bestseller book “The
Another expert focused on a “positive” parenting and discipline method. This method to Dobson was as equally absurd, as it just ignored the willful disobedience. Just because you ignore the elephant, does not mean it is not in the room! These methods according to Dobson take more energy from the parent than just dealing head on with their strong-willed child. Once the child understands who is in charge, it is just a matter of maintenance; whereas permissive parenting centers on shifting the family tyrant. Dobson states that this impairs a child to accept any future authority such as a police officer. It doesn’t take much to imagine where that can lead. Dobson believes that parents should be teaching healthy boundaries to their kids. He feels that we as parents should be in the driver’s seat, not children. Kids are born with distinct characteristics and Dobson refers to one of them as “the strength of the will”. The “strength of the will” differs among every child but is a permanent characteristic throughout a person’s life. He believes that genetics is a huge component in our personality makeup. He even goes on to state that 70% of our personality is genetics. Dobson states that children look to validate the reasons for their boundaries. When parents remain fixed on their boundaries, the child will feel the security given. Dobson gives six courses of action for parents of strong-willed children. First and foremost, when children are very young,