Fear

I woke up with a scream, while flailing around in my bed. I had a cold sweat on my forehead. The reason for my sudden awakening was the terrible dream I was having. I half crawled, half fell out of bed. I ran to the bedroom door and threw it open with a shaky hand. I sprinted down the hallway until I reached the bathroom. I ran inside and slammed the door behind me, locking it. I paced the bathroom, glancing in the mirror occasionally. My hair was sprawled around my face and my forest green eyes looked half dead. I was a mess. I ran my shaky hands through my hair, then splashed water on my face. “Calm down, Noah. You’re fine, she’s still here.” I told myself while staring at my reflection. In all honesty, I felt like I was losing my mind. Slowly, I regained my composure and slightly relaxed. I turned the bathroom light off and walked out. I made my way to the kitchen, and that’s when I saw her as she stood with her back to me. She was wearing a long blue dress that matches her eyes. She turned around slowly when she heard me.
“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?”
“I slept very well, thank you. What about you?”
“Me too. It was a bit cold though.” We couldn't afford to put the heating at this time of the year, it was unnecessary. In fact, we couldn't afford a lot of things but we still tried to make it work. We weren't rich, we even struggled sometimes but we loved each other so much, that it didn't really matter. I sat down at the table and started to drink the cup of tea she made me. She did the same, and smiled at me. We were eating breakfast in silence, not the awkward type of silence though. It was a comfortable silence. The only sound came from ''Raiders of the Lost Ark'', her favorite movie. My eyes opened as the nightmare I thought I had forgotten, returns. The nightmare began to play with my mind.
I walked towards her. She lay on the couch, her blond locks surrounding her soft face.
"I can’t do this" She whispered harshly.
"What do you mean?" I asked softly. Her body was now stiff and sitting up revealing the love bites from days ago. She knew that I knew what she meant. But I asked because I didn’t believe her. I didn’t believe that she was throwing away the two years we had spent together. I didn’t believe that three days ago would be the last time we would make love. That in three days, she could get over me.
"I just don’t love you anymore"
I stopped eating abruptly, causing my wife to look at me with a confused look. I had to make sure she knew that I couldn't live without her.
“Anastasia, I love you, you know that right? You're my everything, my whole world. You’re my best friend, you know me, and love me, and help me be a better man. I love the fact that after two years together, you’ve somehow found a way to put up with me and make me feel like the luckiest guy in the entire world every day.”
She smiled, and put her cup down.
“Noah, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more. It would be impossible for me to explain in words how much I love you.”
I walked up to her, and kissed her on the cheek. I had to go get ready. I was afraid she would leave me, I loved her more than anything and I couldn't live without her. I remember the first night I saw her flawless face, it was the day John Wayne died. What if she finally sees that I can't take care of her like someone else could? Every woman needs a man who can satisfy her needs and take care of her, and because of my bad luck at money, I can't fulfill her every needs. One of my old friends talked to me about this street gang who was looking for persons willing to commit a crime for a big amount of money, and so I took their proposition. Am I crazy? About Anastasia, yes and I would do anything for her. They assured me that I wouldn't get caught. She was going to visit her parents tonight, so it was the