After reading the book “Necessary Endings” by Dr. Henry Cloud, I have certainly learned and have realized that endings are a typical part of life; whether it is in my personal life or my career. Many times throughout my life, I have encountered necessary endings, at some earlier times, I did not comprehend that it was a good ending or a time to make a move. Nor did I know that there were actual steps and meaningful long hours of evaluating my options. This book has taught me to understand those options and how to deal with necessary endings. There are three types of necessary endings as Cloud describes as “pruning”. The first type is when we see that your resources are better for something else, and this situation is best when ended because it will not flourish anymore. The second is when we have done everything we can to help the situation flourish but it is not going anywhere, and nothing is changing, and the future is going nowhere fast. The third ending is when there is no hope for success or flourishing, and the necessary ending is the only option, which leads us into putting all your resources into something that has a future. In other words, these endings are according to Dr. Henry Cloud (2010) “good but not best, sick and not getting well, and deadwood taking up space” (p. 27). These kinds of necessary endings are a must if we want to thrive in personal and professional life. Of course, it will take significant steps to ensure that we succeed in pruning. Dr. Henry Cloud (2010) stated “Focus, mission, purpose, structure, and strategic execution” (p. 29). In particular situations with life or in business, we have to define what endings we need to take. Not all are necessary endings either there are at times situations that can be changed, and there is hope for the future. In identifying the difference in these situations, we have to get hopeless about the problem and come to terms with the reality that is. This will be difficult depending on the type of person we are as well. Dealing with different types of people will also affect how we go about identifying if there needs to be a necessary ending. If we are dealing with a wise person, then we can give them direction and resources to enhance their full potential. With a foolish person, there is no talking to them because they will not take responsibility in their failure; they will only blame others. I have never thought of persons or co-workers to be evil and out to do harm, but now I see clearly in some instances where their actions were indeed evil. These people we have to stay away from and protect ourselves against them because they do not care about anyone but themselves; they might be jealous, envious, or even get you fired. As a servant leader, I have to be able to read into people’s character and decide if I want them to be a part of my future or not. Any situation that has been frustrating for over a period of time is just cause for creating urgency. This will allow us to move on with an ending or a change, be aware of people who do not share your vision and will stand in the way of it. Dr. Henry Cloud (2010) stated “So accept the fact that endings are difficult and hard to implement” (p.190). By setting standards, we can establish where we want to be, and everyone else will either change or not it is up to them not to. Never forget that only we have the power of where we want our lives to be, no one else can make that decision. Surround ourselves with people who believe in our vision and values and who are positive. Make all necessary endings with a good standing ensuring that everyone is clear on what the bottom line is. Take in all of the experiences that necessary endings had on us and only keep the positive. Some necessary endings are the only beginning to a better tomorrow.
This book definitely made me think back when I decided on making a necessary ending. It was a very hard decision because I had worked very hard and sacrificed so much. I was in