Sometimes I would walk alone in the dead of night just because I could and other times it was because I needed to clear my head. On this night I was under an extreme amount of stress and needed to breathe in some fresh air. At least as fresh as city air comes nowadays. I felt a burning sensation in the back of my eyes from the tears wanting to escape, the only thing that stopped the tears from streaming out is the faint sound of people nearby. I wanted to escape the world and all its cruelty more than anything. I stuffed my ear buds in and listened to the peaceful songs that my phone offered me. I gazed at the half moon ahead and thought, I’m drowning. Drowning in the depression I’ve created. The guilt I have for all the wrong I’ve done and all mistakes I know will soon come.
Help, I silently whispered as my walk turned into a steady jog. Wanting to run from everything, smiling at the thought that maybe if I ran far enough I’d fall off the earth. Sprinting now, a smile stretched across my face and a feeling id never felt before overwhelmed me. Freedom, I thought. No one could catch me. Running from the evil thoughts of self-harm and death, the thoughts that burned deep in my mind every day and made me sick to my stomach. But eventually we all run out of breath and can no longer run. Coming to just a fast walk I thought, all these tears I’ve cried. Why? I couldn’t even remember the reason for crying but then it hit me like a ton of bricks and this time I couldn’t control