DaRonte Palmer
Dr.McClure
English Composition 111-32
24 February 2013

Taquan Wicks Legalizing Marijuana
Legalizing Marijuana such a controversial issue in the world today, because of this I feel you should use more citied material to show the opinions of doctors, smokers etc. to support some of your opinions and facts. By adding this material it would also make your paper longer and more detail filled. Defining the medical purpose of marijuana is a good way to start your paper but I would also explain why people use it for non-medical related purposes. In your introduction you said the pros out way the cons after saying that some citied information to back up this statement would be a major plus.
In this paper you have lots of unknown points, I wonder if they are facts or opinions that you have. By adding more information on some points would clarify facts vs. Opinions. For example you said “It was used to treat constipation, malaria, headaches and if you had a bad case of whooping cough. It was also used to control dandruff; this drug helps in so many ways that it deserves an award” how do you know this or is it just thoughts. I also see many numbers and statistics any time you use big numbers I strongly recommended citing sources many because without people may think you made up these numbers to prove you point that marijuana should be legalize in the world.
The organization of your paper is overall very well structured. I like how even though you are for legalizing marijuana you do mention pros and cons of marijuana it makes the paper look unbiased. Explain how these pros and cons could affect you in short term time vs. long term time. An important stat that shocked me was “Over 50,000 people overdose on alcohol a year. 75,000 people die from alcohol a year. This drug is a depressant rather than a stimulant and it’s perfectly legal but will kill you 6 times faster than weed would” if this is true it’s a very important stat to bring up but once again cite this material.
Your paper is two and a half pages long while it is filled with important material I think it could be much longer although it is a rough drive ask yourself did you cover all you possible can talk about in a paper this