For this assignment, I chose to interview a friend of ten years. She has given me permission to use her real name as well as her children’s names. She is a mother of two with two very different birth stories. While only required to report on one, she had such different experiences, I chose to report on both.
Before her first daughter was born, Jennifer had two miscarriages. The first she was at 12 weeks, with the second it was twins at 8 weeks. They happened within six months of one another. Jennifer didn’t think she could ever get pregnant due to having PCOS, so when she found out she was pregnant the first time she was beyond thrilled. She has always said they would wait until the 12 week mark to tell people, but she began telling people as soon as she found out she was pregnant. This was the first grandchild on either side of the family and they wanted to spread the excitement. In hindsight, Jennifer wished she would have waited. One of the most difficult things she had to do was call and tell everyone about the first miscarriage.
With the first miscarriage, everyone knew, but with the second, they had chosen to wait to tell a majority of people. Her and her husband had shared that they were pregnant again with me, her mother, and Chris’s father. They weren’t going to tell anyone at all, but wanted to just in case another miscarriage happened. This time it was twins and the miscarriage happened quickly. Jenni was mad at first rather than being upset. Eventually the anger turned to frustration.
There was never a medical explanation for either miscarriage. At this point, she and her husband were torn on whether or not to continue trying to have children. She was drained emotionally and her husband had told her he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to try again. Jennifer stated that she told him she was ready to give up for now and just see what happens. They were practicing a “whatever happens, happens method.” It was about one year later that they discovered they were pregnant with Willow.
Her first daughter, Willow, is now 4 years old and developing well. With Willow, she was in active labor for 12 hours, pushed for 3, and Willow would not come out. This was after being induced to high blood pressure. She did not experience the natural course of labor from home, which is something she was hoping to achieve. Her goal was to do a home birth with a doula and not have to go to the hospital.
The night before her induction, the whole family was restless. Jenni and Chris barely slept. And, even though the doctors told her not to eat before coming to the hospital, her and Chris went to breakfast that morning. She knew that might be the last time she ate for a while. She was scared as they entered the hospital as this was against her original birth plan. She said the very beginning of getting to the hospital was a blur. A lot of different doctors were in and out performing various procedures. The most exciting part for her was hearing the baby’s heartbeat constantly after they hooked up the monitor. It took a while for her contractions to begin. While she was waiting on hard labor, she was bored and playing card with her friends and family. The whole time she was nervous for the process, but excited to finally be meeting her little girl.
When the hard contractions first started, she remembers it being painful. She felt like she almost broke her husband’s hand. However, she is not a person that likes to sit still, so for her it was worse that she was tied to all these machines and had to stay in the bed. She stated the pain was much better after receiving the epidural. It took about 12 total hours for her to dilate all the way, although it felt like much longer to Jenni and Chris. After pushing for 3 hours, Willow would not come through the birth canal, so the doctors performed an emergency C-section. At this point, Jenni was very exhausted and agreed to the C-section quickly. Her sense of nervousness had heightened, but