Federal Government of the United States
“They govern things. And things need to be governed because if they weren't it would be anarchy which is a lot like football except it isn't a team sport, there is no ball or endzones, and there are no rules. So that would be like bad. The government is needed to make laws and rules like in football which is not hockey. Laws and rules are important so there is no anarchy which is a lot like football except it isn't a team sport, there is no ball or endzones, and there are no rules. So that would be like bad. As you can see Brett Farve is god.”
~ John Madden on the government
The government of the United States, established by the Constitution of the United States, is a federal republic comprising 50 States, the District of Columbia, and a bunch of places that we don't give a rat's ass about because they don't speak English there. Under the Constitution, power is delegated both between the national Federal government and the various local State governments, and between the various branches of the federal government. The federal government consists of five branches: the executive branch, the legislative branch, the Illuminati, the judicial branch and Kevin Bacon.
Because of its size, broad powers and capabilities, the Federal Government of the United States is typically referred to as the most powerful governing body in the world and the world's sole superpower. This designation is also given to the Illuminati, which is a subdivision of the Federal Government.
Contents [hide]
1 Division of Powers between Federal and State Governments
2 Legislative Branch
2.1 The House
2.2 The Senate
3 The Executive Branch
3.1 The President
3.2 Presidential Beards
3.3 The Vice President
3.4 The Cabinet and Their Bureaucracies
4 The Illuminati
5 The Judicial Branch
6 Kevin Bacon
6.1 But Has Kevin Bacon Been Alive Since the Founding? editDivision of Powers between Federal and State Governments
The hallmark of a federal system is that powers are divided between the various levels of government. Throughout the world, there are many systems for this, but the Federal Government divides power based on degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. Things within two degrees of Kevin Bacon are the domain of the Federal Government, things separated from Kevin Bacon by three, four or five degrees are the domain of a State government, and things six or more degrees away from Kevin Bacon are the rights reserved by the citizens.
An example of federal power, as decided by the Supreme Court, is to allow all use of marijuana. This power is obtained through the following sequence:
Kevin Bacon makes lots of Money :: Money can be used to purchase Marijuana :: therefore the government can regulate marijuana.
KevinBaconFederal.gif
This power is derived from the most commonly used sequence, which uses money as the initial link to Kevin Bacon. Powers derived this way are called commerce powers.
Correspondingly, an example of a State power is to regulate marriage, a power derived through this sequence:
Kevin Bacon was in the movie Footloose :: Footloose is Pat Robertson's favorite movie :: Pat Robertson is disgusted by gay marriage :: therefore a State government can ban gay marriage.
KevinBaconState.gif
editLegislative Branch
“If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Progress?”
~ Some over-quoted mofo on Congress
The Bongington Monument also has two chambers.
Article I of the Constitution grants all legislative powers of the Federal Government to the Congress, which is divided into two chambers. Because the great Bongington Monument had not been built at the time the Constitution was ratified, it is assumed that this two-chambered body is the House of Representatives and the Senate. editThe House
In order to facilitate lawmaking, the Framers established that one house of Congress would be apportioned by the tax base of each region, and that these Representatives would
Related Documents: Musings on the American Government Essay
relevance through the years of American development and ultimately became the enduring principle of the American Dream. The U.S. prided itself as a nation where a man could rise from destitute origins to a position of relevance and prosperity by the sweat of his own brow. However, in this postindustrial age, America is less represented by the musings of our Founders and more by the slander of our critics. Comedian George Carlin said it best when he called modern day Americans “people who buy things they…
and comments of his own that contributed both to my understanding and enjoyment as a reader as many of these were his opinions and/or humourous comments. The humour in these is very sardonic and often subtle, examples of this are “The humourous Americans called it (an atom bomb) “Little Boy”” and “I can’t resist including the following mad dialogue from the secret tapes. It could be part of a script for a TV comedy. The End of the World Show, or something like that.”. I thought that the almost mocking…
these results depict the achievement in forward guidance of the market by the Bank of Japan after making series of announcements about expansion of its current account targets for commercial banks, targets for monthly purchase of long term Japanese government bonds plus its commitment to sustain the 0% interest rate policy until inflation shows increment of about 1 percent annually. However, BOJ’s balance sheet expansion had exerted downward pressure on the YEN exchange rate in the first round of quantitative…
year. It is split into four different components: consumption, investment, government spending, and net exports. Consumption is 66% of GDP, and is divided into three separate parts: durable goods, nondurable goods, and services. Investment is 17% of GDP, and is divided into four separate parts: residential construction, nonresidential construction, purchase of capital equipment, and changes in inventories. Government spending is also 17% of GDP, and is divided into three separate parts: state…
about child abuse, you could tell how a young child was found wandering the streets in Harlem covered in bruises, how she was taken to Child Protective Services and admitted to a hospital. Then you would make a statement that this should shame all Americans. 3. Pose a question about the topic and then proceed to offer a variety of answers. 4. Quote some author about the topic and explain why what this famous person said is true. 5. Give some startling statistics and tell their relevance. (Be sure to…
and the World Law, Ethics, and Corporate Governance Professor Andrea Brvenik August 16, 2014 Stakeholders & PharmaCARE Stakeholders take on many forms and guises depending on the context of the business. Experts write personal definitions and musings on what they feel a stakeholder is, while others disagree and have their own, sometimes conflicting personal findings. It has been my experience that the terms ‘stakeholder’ and ‘stock/shareholder’ are often used as synonyms, but there is are important…
ELEMENTS OF LANGUAGE LUIS MENDEZ 1 Term Abstraction Explanation/Definiti on A concept or idea without a specific example idealized generalizations Example Freedom liberty truth 2 Term Abstract Noun Explanation/Definiti on Example Ideas or things that can mean Beauty, bravery, brilliance, many things to many people evil, fear, honesty, kindness, perseverance, tolerance, warmth, wisdom 3 Term Allegory Explanation/Definiti on Example A narrative or description with a secondary or symbolic…
9/8/2014 Why inequality is bad for you -- and everyone else - CNN.com You've selected the U.S. Edition. Would you like to make this your default edition? SET EDITION: U.S. TV: CNN Home CNNi INTERNATIONAL CNN en Español TV & Video U.S. MÉXICO Yes | No Close ARABIC Sign up Log in HLN World Politics Justice Entertainment Tech Health Living Travel Opinion iReport Money Sports Part of complete coverage on TEDTalk Tuesdays Why inequality is bad for you -- and everyone else…
Marketing managers for global organizations are often asked to evaluate the feasibility of new products and services and predict their profitability for the organization. For this task, you will select a business that would like to develop new products and services in order to attain a competitive advantage in the global market. You will first consider the products and services the company currently offers and recommend new products and services that have the most potential for profitability based…
HBR CASE STUDY Trouble Paradise by Katherine Xin and Vladimir Pucik F The Zhong-Llan Knitting Company joint venture in China is one of the region's shining success stories. So why is generai manager Mike Gravesthinking about pulling the plug on it? ROM Mike Graves's tall windows, which were draped in red veivet, the view of Shanghai was spectacular: the stately old Western-style buildings, the riot of modem skyscrapers, the familiar needle of the TV tower. But today Mike barely noticed…