English 111
Eric Rogusky
Essay #1
September 22, 2011

As a young adult, I dealt with severe emotional issues. I had trouble maintaining healthy relationships with my parents, boyfriends, and friends. Because I was unhappy with myself, I found it hard to understand and connect with others. One of my ways of attempting to cope with (or avoid) this problem was listening to music. Naturally, being a teenage girl with depression, I found myself drawn to angsty, sad lyrics and melodies. The Juliana Theory, a minor-label band from Pennsylvania, was exactly what I craved. With pop-rock beats and masterfully moving lyrics, I connected with them as soon as I heard their first album, Emotion is Dead. This album aided me in developing higher awareness and understanding of the way people interact and develop. Th first word on the first track, Into the Dark, is “Dad.” The song goes on to detail a child growing up and trying to figure out where they fit in to the world, while looking for a companion who will accept them for who they are. The child’s mother and father are referenced in opposing light, the mother loving and concerned; the father stern and unforgiving. One of my biggest personal internal struggles was my tumultuous relationship with my father, so this song almost appeared to be a mirror image of my life. The lesson learned by the protagonist taught me a lesson though. The last few lines in the song come down to this: You may grow up not understanding some of the things your parents put you through, but when you become an independent thinker, you will find someone with an unbiased willingness to help you work through your issues was there all along. You just need to let them in. If I Told You This was Killing Me, Would You Stop? Great question, Brett Detar. Rebellion, as a youth, was a particular specialty of mine. In a desperate attempt to understand myself and the way I thought and viewed things in the world, I went against almost every idea I was ever taught as a child. On this track, having a peer figure in your personal life judging your opinions is the main focus. The band sings about speaking before thinking, and then not having your thoughts be heard. Being slammed for those unheard thoughts. The last few stanzas, however, taught me to accept my misgivings and mistakes and choose my battles. Friendship is more valuable than opposing views, and one needs to be open-minded and accepting of not only your own views, but the opinions of those close to you. I had my heart broken only once in high school, but it happened early on in my freshman year and traumatized me severely. This one bad break-up completely destroyed my self confidence and my willingness to open myself up to a significant other. You Always Say Goodnight, Goodnight was one of my favorite songs from this album because it was about needing closure from an ended relationship. Being alone and unhappy, you have to make yourself remember the good times, not just the bad. Realizing you made mistakes, in order to salvage a friendship from a wrecked romance, is the key to getting closure. This taught me to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, really, but that once something is done it is best to not dwell on it. Give time, space, and when you are ready, talk about what happened and try to compromise where you can be friends and