Messes of Me Aaron Weiss proclaims a line on the 2006 mewithoutYou album Brother, Sister which is perhaps his most personal line ever recorded. The line is muddled down to almost beyond the point of recognition. It is often heard as, “I do not exist, we faithfully insist” (mewithoutYou) but is quoted just as frequently as saying, “I do not exist, I faithfully insist.” The difference could easily be dismissed as simply a recording error, but I believe that Mr. Weiss is smarter than that. The Philadelphia native does not even confidently sing the line; he speaks it in a monotone, unsure voice while being backed by heavy rain and an atmospheric guitar. Each version of the line shows a different facet of Weiss. Or more, the different perceptions he has of himself. Much like how each listener hears the line a certain way, each person has a particular view of themselves as well. While I’m sure Weiss has the knowledge of what was truly said, others have a sense of what they believe they heard. This mirrors the perception that others have of me, which is can be different from my recognition of myself. I am fully aware, however, that my self-image is more important than what others believe me to be. When Weiss says, “I do not exist, I faithfully insist” he speaks of the perceptions of himself. Although it is not clear in the slightest what he does think of himself, it is obvious what he is suggesting. He is suggesting that we are the only ones who can honestly describe ourselves, and who can say what we truly are as we only know our own thoughts and motives, and not the thoughts and motives of others. Therefore, what I believe myself to be is true, as I am the only one adequately able to judge myself. I believe myself to be dedicated and humble, both in athletics and in social situations. I am an empathetic, personable, and clever person, but I am also very lazy and apathetic about many things – like jobs and money – that could be taken more seriously. I possess a longing desire to disconnect from the internet and most forms of communication, but a longing for a higher feeling of popularity does not allow me to disconnect entirely. This longing for popularity has made me develop bad habits; I often compare myself to others and actively seek attention when it is unnecessary. Even though these traits do not make me a “bad person”, they are still habits I desire to drop. These habits and traits make up who I am, and who I believe I am is entirely dependent on these traits. Much like how Weiss has the power to define what he is, I have the same power and the ability to decide that my self-awareness is more important than the vision others have of me.
On the other hand, many people hear Weiss mumble, “I do not exist, we faithfully insist.” With this Weiss implies that others have the ability to define him and what he is, to the point that he can be swayed to agree with them, despite what he thinks of himself. Many people do sway their opinions based on the opinion of others, even to the point of changing what they think of themselves based on what others believe of them. Weiss places the importance on the impression others have, as opposed to the judgment of one’s self. There are a few shared views of myself that others – and I – hold, such as, “You have a likeable personality and you enjoy attention but you love being on your own when it comes to personal issues.” (de Munnik) Another shared impression is, “You don’t seem like you’d be that smart but talking to you disproves that….You’re really funny and can think up a joke quickly and smoothly…You show how determined you are through your wrestling, but not through your schoolwork… You are probably one of the most caring guys I’ve ever met… You’re very personable and love talking to new people…You’re also down to earth and humble and don’t let your successes to the best of you.” (Dempsey) I have also been described as, “sexy and intuitive.” (Hathway) Many of these traits are very