Marriage is a compromise and an understanding between two people who care for each other and actually want to be in the relationship together. A marriage needs to have compromise in the relationship. There is really no such thing as an “equal partnership” when it comes to everything, as much as people would love to believe so there really isn’t. You can rarely find a marriage where both partners are employed with the same amount of responsibilities at work and same amount of pay rate. You can rarely find a relationship where both partners are investing the same amount of time in house chores or share the same amount of responsibilities in raising a child or children if they have any. Why is it so hard to have an equal partnership? Because people are their own individual, there is not another person within this world who is exactly like them. That means that there isn’t someone who can do the dishes as great as you can. There isn’t someone out there who is going to love, hate, get frustrated, or have the same day that you are having at work. And there isn’t someone out there that is going to emotionally feel the exact same way about the things that bother you or that you love. There are people who can understand but not someone who can exactly feel and understand what you go through on a day to day basis. We fix this problem by compromising and understanding.
Most of the time I don’t stop to think about it and I come home already upset, and that is how arguments arise. That is how little things that bothered you before can build up and take out all your aggression over a bad day. What people don’t realize is that most of the time when an argument arises it is not from what is going on with your significant other, but it has to do with the environment and daily life that surrounds you that has built up. Always being around your partner and seeing them everyday people tend to take out their aggressions out on the people closest to them because they are so comfortable with them. That is why we need to have understanding in the relationship, this explain to your partner that you have had a bad day, and maybe you can go out to eat or they can be aware of your feelings. Having someone to vent to and understand what is going on in your life can be a big key. Sometimes we need to think about the situation, “Alexa doesn’t usually act like this, let me ask her what happened”. It is all about communication and understanding.
So instead of feeling burdened with having to work, clean, and take care of any other things in the house, you compromise. Both partners need to think of not only what they bring and offer to the relationship but what their partner does that they don’t. I can name million things that I do when I am having a long day that my boyfriend doesn’t. So by the time I get home from my long day, I think to myself, I went to school, work, cleaned, and I still have to come home and cook? That frustrates me more than ever. But there are times when I need to take a step back and think to myself, well he worked longer hours than I did and then had the dishes ready for me to cook and walked to dog already. You can have one person be in charge of the dishes and the other be in charge of vacuuming and trash. There are schedules couples can make, but the only disadvantage to this is when one person doesn’t keep to their side. There is a difference between love and