Week 3 – DB3
Inhaling and Exhaling
The terms are used in order to provide a visual of how communication is processed within the listener and the speaker. Just as we breathe air continuously inhaling and exhaling, we speak and listen in the same manner (Stewart, 2012). As words are flowing from our mouths (exhaling) we are ingesting the response of the listener (inhaling) through their body language and facial expressions. Stewart writes, “While we’re talking, we’re noticing how people are responding, and while we’re listening, we’re giving off mixed and primarily nonverbal cues” (p.158).
Inhaling is performed in two steps, perception and listening (Stewart, 2012) in the perception the listener is trying to connect their experiences and cultural awareness with the words be shared from the speaker. The trouble with perception is that no two people share the same experiences or history; therefore, making a perception of what the speaker is saying or going to say is similar to cutting off the oxygen that is required to exhale from the speaker. In others words when preconceived notions are injected to what is being said, it is like holding your breath, the listener is no longer listening but rather judging, forming opinions, and waiting for the speaker to stop flapping their lips. Stewart quotes Nichols, “Listening is an inside job-inside action on the part of the listener. This suggests that good listening is the ability to get into the shoes of the speaker in order to see his side of the issue” (p.187). This indicates that listening takes a conscientious effort to gain understanding, allowing the speaker to exhale, while the listener inhales without perceptions.
The art of empathic listening, pioneered by Carl Rogers (Stewart, 2012) describes the term as, “entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it” (p.194). Empathic listening is an art, as the listener needs to set aside their judgments, opinions, experiences, and their own agreeing or disagreeing notions. The listener simply listens with the intent to understand, allowing the speaker to breathe. When an individual feels that they are understood then they can feel secure in their conversation and