Natalya Da Silva
English 131
Vincent Mastronardi
April 30, 2015
Don’t Say ‘I Do’ Without Living Together First In generations past, couples met, fell in love, got married and began building a life together. But times are changing, and in these days, its more common for couples to spend some time living together before taking a trip down the aisle. In recent years, there has been an increased rate of cohabitation in today’s society. Cohabitation by definition is two unmarried people living together. In moral values, this does not seem as an appropriate situation because of that fact that there is no marriage between couples. However, cohabitation is a chance and requirement to establish strong bonds in any relationship. Since the 1970s, marriage rates have declined in Western industrialized countries while cohabitation has increased for both different- sex and same-sex couples (Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, 69). Many governments have reformed their laws to provide new rights for long-term cohabitants, and children born outside marriage, and to enable same-sex couples to formalize their relationships. Society needs to take in consideration that how a couple deals with issues while cohabitating can be a tool for successful marriages. The following reasons as to why couples should say “I do” without living together first may remind many of the age-old adage: You don’t really know someone until you live with them. Having a trial period before marriage, financial independency along with assistance, growing as a team with your significant other, and putting a relationship at test are just a few important factors that should be encouraged at the time any couple starts apartment hunting. Divorce is common in today’s society because couples do not know enough about each other. They do not know each other’s home life or behaviors that he or she may highly dislike during the relationship when they do not live together in “trial period.” These are eventually realized when they get married and start to live under the same roof. In addition, some marriage decisions are given in two or three months after the couple first met. At this period, having an assumption about each other is a very difficult situation to head into. Couples can be aware of other’s private life and behaviors in cohabitation. The big test is, without a doubt, when a couple settles down, lives under the same roof, sleep in the same bed and ultimately, share the same bathroom. Surviving the less glamorous aspects of cohabitation and still loving each other, even after realizing it will not always be all fun in games, and will mostly likely raise the chances of getting married. Communication skills are essential for any strong and serious couple, because when an argument breaks out neither spouse can just walk away, and play the “who-calls-first-to-apologize” game and work it out after having time to calm down. Couples who have strong communication in their relationship even before they plan on living together are at an advantage from other couples that forcefully have to develop this later down the road. It may sound clichéd, but like mentioned before, you truly don’t know someone until you live with that person. When a couple lives together, the comfort level between the two gradually increases until nothing is sacred. Little quirks that a person tries desperately to keep hidden eventually come out into the open. Sometimes these quirks are too much for a person to live with; other times it is a combination of many that push them over the edge. Living together clears the air and reduces the possibility for major surprises that could lead to a marital strife. In fact, 84% of women and 83% of men agree that moving in together is a smart move before getting married. While the rest of men and women disagree that it wouldn’t be a smart move to make (Cosmopolitan). In addition, living together cuts down on rent money for both. There will be