Deborah Rodriguez
Family Law and Divorce Mediation
Assignment 1
RE: Mediators

When I hear the word mediator, the first thing that comes to mind is a person a person who helps others work through a divorce or other disputes. A mediator’s role involves a lot more than the skills and techniques. In many ways, the role of the mediator has as much to do with being as it does with doing. The personality, humanity, and life experience of the mediator is an important part of the role. Acting as a mediator requires the ability to move with the flow of the conflict and the ability to understand each person’s inner feelings and motivations without seeing them as right, wrong, good, or bad. Couples choosing mediation are seeking the assistance of a neutral person to help them make sense out of the chaos of the marriage breakdown. They are distraught, fearful, angry, and hopeful, all at the same time. The mediator, aware of the depth of the conflict and pain of divorce, never takes sides, but strives to help them arrive at a place where they can begin to build their new lives without erasing the past. The mediator’s task is to transport them from their chaos to a higher level of function where they can begin to work together to create the best outcome possible to close their marriage with dignity and care. Rapport building or connecting with the soul of each client set the stage for mediation to occur. Mediators may have difficulty connecting with a client who is very guarded and refuses to trust anyone, much less a mediator. When a mediator achieves and maintains this connection, the husband and wife are more likely to be able to express themselves constructively. Once there is rapport between the mediator and each client, the clients begin to see each other differently because they have chosen