Divorcing With Children Involved
The term divorce in many aspects of life indicates negative impacts to the children. Research indicates that divorce also has beneficial effects to the children of the affected families. Many children nowadays go through at least one divorce between there parents, sometimes even more then one. Most research shows that divorce has a negative impact on children, but many children can also learn from the experience. Couples involved in an unhappy marriage should not stay married for the sake of the children.
Divorce increases the understanding of a healthy relationship of the children who are involved in divorce situations. According to Amatea “it had been observed that children of divorce have a better understanding in life as compared to the children who have not experienced divorce cases (103). Many children of divorce also learn to become more cooperative. Amatea states that “children who have once been involved in divorce by their parents are more cooperative and responsive to their immediate environment than their counterparts”(104). Researchers interested in matters of divorce explain that children who have experienced divorce are more focused on life, caring, and loving compared to other children. These children are more motivated and have a high level of self-esteem. The behavior exhibited by these children links to the hardship circumstances they passed when the parents separated thus making them more daptive and practical in life (Harvey 235). The children whose parents divorced have excellent relationships as compared to those from families which have not experienced divorce. These children have strong emotional attachment to the extended family members. According to Linley children “make the members of the extended family and friends become their priority in their lives” (76). Children try and replace the absence of a parent with friends and other family members.
Divorce can help make children more responsible and can help them learn from their parents mistakes. This is particular to the children who have experienced cases of domestic violence in their homes. The children in most cases in such situations experienced their parents fight in the open thus these children will come to hate violence and its related activities. The child will grow up and will hate violence in there life and those who perpetuate violence in the society. When these children grow up as adults, they will become responsible members of the society and they are more likely to promote the well-being of the society. Much research has been done and it has been observed that “many individuals in the nongovernmental organizations who participate for the noble cause of th society are most from backgrounds, which experienced divorce, or their parents divorced” (Harvey). Thus, divorce is as a tool for taking the society to grater heights in terms of virtues.
Divorce to the children is an effective means to free them from the hostile environment of constant conflict. This provides an option to unhappy marriages and to guarantee peace of mind that the children’s lives will be better. This provides the children with an opportunity grow well in an enabling environment. According to Segrin divorce from a bad relationship “will enable the children to explore other environments” (123). Divorce can also give them happiness, which can be from immediate relatives and close members of the family and lead them to a better life.
Children of divorce can use the situation to learn more responsibility in the home. Since children are usually left in their young ages, they become hardy in life by adopting the roles, which were initially performed by their parents. Boys will start performing the masculine activities in the family thus make them responsible when they get their families. According to Howe “boys will perform the roles, which could have been performed by their fathers…the girls will assume the feminine roles