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Depression: Learning Self Love

Introduction: Ever since I could remember I wanted to be a mom with a great man as my husband, I’ve read every love story and watched all the romantic movies you could think of. Some would call it a hopeless romantic. When I was in middle school I was convinced that I had met the love of my life. He was tall dark and handsome with a smile that could light up a room he had a great personality and half of the girls in school had a crush on him. I happened to be the lucky girl or so I thought he chose to start a relationship with. To say the least our relationship ended in about two weeks into it. Everything he did was wrong and since he was the football jock he thought he could talk to every girl that smiled in his face. I was so disappointed I remember thinking that’s not the love I witnessed in movies and what happened to him showering me with gifts and writing love each other love letters. He had one thing in mind and that was Sex, I was only 15 years old I didn’t know about sex I was always told not to do IT. So I started high school as the only girl in the entire without a boyfriend. I didn’t receive a card or flowers on Christmas and I sure didn’t get the flowers on Valentine’s Day. I wondered what was wrong with am I not pretty enough, smart enough, or fast enough. I spent my high school days as a single girl. I was popular and had lots of friends but no boyfriend. I initially developed low self-esteem. I was a bright, tall, and skinny with gap teeth I mean can you say awkward looking. On the surface you would’ve never thought I had low self-esteem and suffered from depression. I kept it all to myself no one knew not even my family and friends. This is actually the first time I have ever spoken about it. As I type this I tear up about it knowing I let something and someone define me being happy with myself and my life. But at that time being a teenager you think high school is what will define your life. I lived with feeling bad about myself until I was twenty years old. It affecting my decisions with where I would go to college or if I would go and I ended up in an unhealthy relationship. It’s like I was suffering in silence no one knew how I was truly feeling on the inside and how I cried myself to sleep many nights. How can someone people thought was so beautiful and people love to be around be caring something like that on her shoulders? Well I was and was very ashamed, I gained almost twenty-five pounds and that make it any better my depression got worse. I dropped out of all my classes I was enrolled I didn’t want to be seen by a soul. It was a very dark moment in my life. (/)http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606389
Depression: may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer. The exact cause of depression is not known. Many researchers believe it is caused by chemical changes in the brain. This may be due to a problem with your genes, or triggered by certain stressful events. More likely, it's a combination of both. Some types of depression run in families. But depression can also occur if you have no family history of the illness. Anyone can develop depression, even kids.
The following may play a role in depression: * Alcohol or drug abuse * Certain medical conditions, including underactive thyroid, cancer, or long-term pain * Certain medications such as steroids * Sleeping problems * Stressful life events, such as: * Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend * Failing a class * Death or illness of someone close to you * Divorce * Childhood abuse or