The foundation of a long lasting relationship seems to be good communication. Communication is more than passing on information to one another, it’s our facial expressions, touches, silence, and body language which is referred to as nonverbal communication. You can say so much just by the way you look at someone or simply by holding their hand. Communication helps the intimacy grow between two people by letting the other person know how we feel verbally and non-verbally, and also by revealing who we are. It seems simple enough, if you communicate then you will have a great relationship but it’s often very difficult for some people. Fear is the biggest obstacle to overcome when communicating. Traditional male gender roles teach males not to express their feelings. They are taught to talk about masculine things and act tough which can put a burden on a relationship. Also, both males and females may feel ashamed of expressing certain thoughts and fantasies to avoid arguments or to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings. If a couple can get past these fears and are able to understand one another then it makes it easier to communicate these more in depth feelings.
According to Ira Reiss there are four stages to how love develops. The first stage is rapport. When you first meet someone you get to know one another’s interests, likes, dislikes, and similarities. At this stage you realize whether there is a match or not. Second stage is self-revelation. In this stage personal feelings are exposed such as fears, ambitions, and goals. Third stage is mutual dependency where you and your partner officially become a couple and begin doing everything together. Last stage is intimacy need fulfillment. This is when you and your partner make decisions together and support one another in all aspects. Once again the common denominator among all these stages is effective communication. Communication is the key to making this wheel of love keep moving forward.
When it finally comes down to choosing a partner for marriage many people like to choose someone either within the same nationality, ethnic group or social status. This is called endogamy. This practice is often easier to endure but it can also mean there is fear of opening up to