I have read “The way of friendship” in Confucius from the heart written by Yu Dan. Confucius taught his own students to make good friends, and to avoid bad friends. Confucius would like to teach us “益者三友” and “損者三友” in Analects. 益 – This mean “benefit” and “profit”, 者 – This mean “a person”, 三 – This mean “Three”, 友 – This mean “friends”, 損 – This mean “harm” and “loss”. In short, he insisted that there are three types of good friends in this world and three types of bad friends.
The first of three types of friends are straight friends. Straight means upright, honest, and fair-minded. Straight friends will encourage us when we fear in some situation, and he also will give us resolution and determination when we are fluctuating. Secondly, it is loyal and trustworthy friends. This friend is honest and sincere and never tells a lie. Thus, they make us calm and safe. Finally, the third good ones are well-informed friends. This friend has abundant and wide knowledge in various fields. He will give us great directions and their experience, when we need some advices for some problem.
Furthermore, Confucius explained that there are the three types of bad friends. The first, it is a friend who is ingratiate in action. This friend is the absolute opposite to the good straight friend. They will always say ‘Yes’, and will never say ‘No’ to us, since they have no sense of right and wrong. If you are with a friend like this, you will not know what is right and what is wrong. Secondly, it is a friend who is pleasant in appearance, or two-faced. This friend will be smile positively to my face, but they will spread my rumors and secret behind my back. Finally, the third bad one is a friend who is plausible in speech. This friend is called ‘fast talkers’ by ordinary people. They are pretentious. For example, they pretend to know everything and have lots of talent, but they actually have nothing their inside. Confucius said that a junzi should speak less and do more. However, these friends are absolutely opposite to junzi who is considered as an ideal gentleman by Confucius.
Confucius taught us how to make good friends and avoid making bad. The first is the desire to make good friends; the second is the ability to do so. We should be willing to get close to people if you desire to know he is a good friend or not. After that, you must have the ability to discrimination if you already knew he is a good friend or not. Some people might make harmful friends, because they do not know that people well. They should make a distinction between good friend and harmful friend after they know the people. If we can get this