Chardell Naki Aina
Professor Webster
English 23
12/04/2014
Lā’au lapa’au VS Western Medicine
Many patients today depend on Western medicine because it’s
[Avoid using contractions in formal writing. “It’s” should be written out “it is.” Watch for more of these in the rest of the paper.] easier to go to a doctor and faster to receive prescribed, premade pills from a pharmacy and have concerns about their health insurance.
[This is set up as a comparison – “easier” – explain what this is easier than.] However people today should consider Lā’au lapa’au (Hawaiian Herbal healing) instead of Western medicine for diabetes, asthma and arthritis because they wont
[Know the difference between “wont” and “won’t.” “Wont” means means
“likely to do something,” while “won’t” means “will not.”] need to depend on pills or experience side effects and they wont be addicted to pain medication.
2
Naki Aina
I agree that diabetes is a huge epidemic in the world today because my experience
[We usually say, “because o f my experience.”] with it.
[Identify you’re your experience actually is – say that you have diabetes so the reader doesn’t have to guess.]
Every day is a hassle to make sure I have 50 milligrams of insulin ready to be shot into my lower stomach area before breakfast and at night before dinner. I get irritable taking oral medication in the morning after breakfast and in the evening after dinner. I would suggest that people shouldn’t depend on modern medicine and should experiment with more ancient holistic, natural Hawaiian medicine so that they’ll be free from taking pills.
[Why?]
As I researched lā’au lapa’au, I’ve learned that people needed
[Is this need only in the past? If not, use present tense.] to manually make their remedies with natural herbal healing plants, which might take a while to make. Although the concoctions they do make can be used for not only diabetes, but may be used for other sicknesses too.
[“Although” at the beginning of the sentence makes this an incomplete thought. To fix this, take out “although.”]
For
this reason I wouldn’t mind trying one of the concoctions listed in Beatrice Krauss`s book of medicine. For example, a medicinal plant called lau kahi, the leaves of this plant fresh of dried were then boiled down in water to make a brew and then consumed by mouth as a cleansing solution (p.74). Another concoction that sounded interesting (since 1996) is the noni plant. The noni fruit was put in a glass jar and left in the sun to ferment. The sap released from the fermented fruit was a quicker way to gather the clear sap. This was usually taken by spoonful’s
[Do not use apostrophes to create a
